1992

Here's a picture of me at the picnic we had right after I graduated high school in 1992. I REALLY tried to match my socks to that shirt. I made that copper "x" straight edge necklace in shop class.

this is me "dressed up"

I only saw Quicksand once, in March of 1991, they were pretty good and set to really become the darlings of progressive hardcore within a year after this photo. I still think they are a good band, even if it took years for the first LP, Slip, to grow on me ( I was BIG into the 7"). I don't know what I was thinking with that hat though,  I guess I would just chalk it up to the 90's... But unlike a lot of you, I took the hat off; you're still living with that tribal tattoo.

It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it: the redemption of Faith No More

The fucking enemy, circa 1989

I’ll tell you one thing right now; in 1989 I hated mowing my parent’s huge suburban lawn. It was always a “But I was going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!” Uncle Owen v. Luke Skywalker type of conversation between my father and I. To power through it, I had two cassettes of choice for my Walkman: Carnivore’s Retaliation and Faith No More’s We Care A Lot. Different approaches to underground music but both had pummeling and effective Drums that pushed me through the hour and a half it took to mow that fucking lawn.

This post isn’t about Carnivore though, but, as you has already guessed, Faith No More. I REALLY like We Care A Lot, to this very day. Mark Bowen, As the Worms Turn, New Beginnings and the title track have literally been stuck in my head for 27 years. The rhythmic drums and bass, subtle and effective metal crunching guitar and Chuck Mosley’s sincere vocal performance strikes a chord with me in a way very few can. People like to bag on Chuck’s voice, but, especially on We Care A Lot, he sells you his imperfect voice taking it to the limit of his ability and beyond. Plus, I think the lyrics are fucking Incredible.  The bombast of the recording is just there, it all works for me. I like the follow up Introduce Yourself (The Crab Song, Death March, COME ON!) and the first LP after Chuck’s departure, The Real Thing, but the band lost me after that, their sound changed too drastically and the vibe was lost on me.  To make matters even worse, when I went to see them in October of 1992, they weren’t very good. It was probably an off night for them, but I’m not huge into Mike Patton or Angel Dust, so I’m sure that had something to do with it. To make FNM even less compelling, Helmet, who opened the show, literally JUST STOOD THERE, and smoked Mike and company right off stage.

I moved to Northern California a year ago, away from the gray and white frigid winters of Buffalo, NY and into the green lushness that is the Napa Valley. Being an hour north of San Francisco allowed me the opportunity to see a gig I’d never thought I’d see: Faith No More, fronted by Chuck Mosley, performing only songs from the first two records, including We Care A Lot in its entirety.  They announced it on a Tuesday, with the show being two days later on a Thursday. I had to go and bought a ticket within minutes of the announcement. Solid.

Oddly enough, the show was on August 18^th, exactly (to the day, even) 25 years after the only time I met Chuck Mosley, who was then fronting the classic hardcore punk band, Bad Brains (who were surprisingly VERY good with him as a front man). That day, in August 1991, I had no idea he was their singer at the time, and I happened to be wearing an Introduce Yourself shirt at the show. Before the Bad Brains set, Chuck came up to me put his arm around me, pointed to the shirt and said “Every little bit helps.”  I thought it was so fucking awesome, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Flyer borrowed from my friend Larry's abandoned Buffalo hardcore history page 

25 years later, I was out front of the Great American Music Hall with one of my few friends I’ve made up here, Matt, and who walks by but Chuck Mosley, smoking a cigarette and looking lost and burnt out. Matt commented that he wanted to take Chuck’s picture, but was reluctant to disturb him, as diehard FNM fans were crowding around him for selfies and handshakes. I shared my Bad Brains story and told Matt I’d take action; I walked up to Chuck and showed him a jpeg of the flyer from 1991 and gave him a big hug, letting him know that taking the time to acknowledge the 17 year old me 25 years ago meant a lot. He chatted for a few moments talking about how bummed he was that “Doc” (Dr. Know, the Brain’s guitar player) was sick. He also told a story about how the day after Buffalo, in Ithaca, HR (or “Paul” as he called him) the original singer of the Bad Brains, had come on stage and done a few of the songs, free-styling a vocal melody over one of their reggae jams. He was so into the story, trying to sing the melody to us and saying he’s ripped it off; using in every band he’s been in ever since, because it was so epic.  I was just so shocked at how really burnt out he was as he flipped through his phone to add to his stories. I then turned and said, “This is my friend Matt, he’d like to take your picture.” Click. Done.

The portrait of the failed artist as a young man

Inside, the crowd was a mixture of punk, metal and middle aged people. Roddy Bottom, who I think is dating this guy Jon who used to occasionally hang out at my old apartment in Amherst, was just mingling in the crowd with obvious longtime friends. Having been in a band, I guess the hometown show is kind of the same for everyone; a place to run into friends and family who have supported you from the beginning and don’t get to see as much. The opener was a terrible performance artist who rolled around the stage wearing a shroud making Godzilla and chicken sounds. Then, Chuck did an acoustic set which, in all honesty, wasn’t very good. It was obvious he was nervous, but the crowd’s reaction to his solo rendition of Death March warmed him up a bit and by the time his acoustic act became the actual full on Faith No More show, he seemed more relaxed.  The set list was fucking amazing with the energy building and releasing then building and exploding, lather, rinse, repeat:

The Crab Song

Introduce Yourself

The Jungle

As the Worm Turns

Greed

Spirit

New Beginnings

Arabian Disco

Mark Bowen

We Care a Lot

Why Do You Bother?

Pills for Breakfast

Anne's Song

look at that beautiful banner

I bought the 30^th anniversary reissue of We Care A Lot and a shirt, which being soft spun, hugs my lumpy body strangely, but I’ve worn it every few weeks since. The best thing is, I got to hear some of the greatest songs ever written live and I didn’t even have to touch a lawnmower to do it. All Photos by matthewkadi.com

Danzig and I, Part 2: Orgy Sounds?

The author circa 1999. Ignore that awesome attempt at facial hair

This is a follow up to part one from 6 years ago.

I think the late 90’s were a time nearly completely devoid of good music. Those of us who invested time is some sort of “underground” music scene had just fought off the big business of alternative rock as hard as we could, only to have "nu metal" explode and bring an even bigger type of douche bag sniffing around. Everyone suddenly went from trying to show how introverted and emotional they were to showing how fucking “extreme” they were. People were down with the sickness, doin’ the Dew, all for the nookie, feeling like a freak on a leash, and generally annoying as fuck.

Take us seriously.

Even Glenn Danzig, after the huge misfire of Danzig 5: Blackacidevil enlisted the help of two of the fucking guys from Orgy to mix his 6th album- Satan’s Child. I have mixed feelings on the record, 17 years later and though I saw Danzig many times during the touring cycle for it; latex shirts, rubber pants (Todd Youth, I’m looking at you) and the bass player’s baggy board shorts just made me wonder what his new backup band had against black jeans and looking/ being cool. Still, The Dorkzig era was pretty decent live and much better than what was going on during the tour for 5. The most exciting part of the announcement for the initial Satan’s Child US tour was that Samhain, Glenn’s prior band and kind of the transition band from the Misfits to Danzig, was going to perform each night. I felt at the time, and still feel to this day, that Samhain is the only one of Danzig’s bands that is untarnished.
My friends and I bought up tickets as soon as they went on sale for the Cleveland gig in November of ’99 and made the nearly 3 hour trek. Our money and time was not wasted;  Samhain belted out a seriously intense set. At the time, I thought that Samhain had largely been forgotten about, but people lost their damned minds during the set and I was no exception.
Samhain
Black Dream
All Murder, All Guts, All Fun
He-Who-Can-Not-Be-Named
Unholy Passion
All Hell Breaks Loose
Misery Tomb
To Walk the Night
In My Grip
Mother of Mercy
Halloween II
November's Fire
The Birthing
The most interesting thing about the show was that right after the blood soaked Samhain set was over, two members swapped out and Danzig played and Glenn’s on stage persona changed. During Samhain’s set, his on stage antics were less rehearsed, more “punk” for lack of a better word, and just raw. During the Danzig set we got the same, fired up, but disappointingly more “I’m in a rock band” delivery. The set, overall, was decent, with a nice surprise of the ripping Misfits track Earth A.D. at the end, but nothing to write home about, all that was on my mind was Samhain, Samhain, Samhain.
I saw some rather stale Danzig sets the next two years, but in November 2003, I saw the best Danzig show and one of THE BEST shows I have ever seen in Poughkeepsie, NY that as a result of directly changed my life and began the career path that I am still on 13 year later. But, as the end of Conan the Babarian says ” that is another story.”

The day the music (Anthrax) died

Cool guys, right?

From 1987-1990, the years from 8^th grade until my junior year of high school, I certainly did not look “Cool.” Thankfully, there was a band that looked as ridiculous as I did. That band was Anthrax. I didn’t have the personality or good looks to pull off the traditional metal look, but with their goofy attitude and Surfline Original Jams, Anthrax really made me feel like I was one of them. Hell, in 9^th grade, I even wrote them an honest to goodness fan letter (that went unanswered, of course). They liked TMNT and Judge Dredd and as an added bonus, as a fledgling guitar player, Anthrax’s simple-yet-effective riffs were relatively easy to figure out, whereas I couldn’t even touch a Metallica or Slayer song; my fondness for them grew with each chug-chugalug of the open E string. 

The author, Christmas 1989 wearing a Sacred Reich shirt

I saw them in their peak of popularity in 1991 and though my tastes were heading towards more extreme music at that time, I still thought very highly of the band and of the thrash metal scene I had invested my interest in for the 4 years prior. Then something happened, something strange and unthinkable; Heavy Metal died. I think I recognized that bands were releasing subpar follow up records in the post Metallica Black Album world, but I was not prepared for the alternative rock boom. I was equally not prepared for Anthrax firing vocalist Joey Belladonna and replacing him with the guy from Armored Saint, whose voice I think straight up sucks (to this day). The Sound of White Noise sounded like they were trying to play the alternative rock game and I hate every fucking minute of it. Post 1993, I ignored Anthrax’s new material mostly, but still jammed Among the Living and State of Euphoria regularly.

Then it happened, the very moment Anthrax turned a corner for me that I couldn’t ignore; I went to see them with the newly reformed “Misfits” in Rochester, NY in May of ’96. They mostly stuck to Bush era songs- stuff I didn’t know or like. Then they threw out a bone to the old school fan, the intro to Among the Living kicked in and my friend John and I started moshing like crazy- “Duh-nuh-nuh-na-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug.” I was so pumped. This is what I wanted- this riff, this moment. 16 year old me had taken control of my 21 year old body, I was metal thrashing mad. Then an open chord was struck and held for a long period of time. There would be no group chant of “Disease! Disease! Spreading the disease!” instead, guitarist Scott Ian yelled into his back up mic, “last chance to mosh- BRING THAAAAAA NOISE!” and fucking mumble mouth Armored Saint guy and Ian slaughtered Public Enemy’s crossover hit. Nail meet coffin. DONE.

I was further insulted a few years later when I was sent a bunch of promo cassettes from the quickly disbanded “Ignition Records” containing the Anthrax single Piss N Vinegar which is fucking Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull, yes really, they stole the riff and vocal melody from a Tull song, fucking heathens.  Anthrax was so set adrift at that point that they had no fucking idea.

I’m mostly a grown up now, I mean, I’m a dad in my 40’; so I have satellite radio. I hear new Anthrax songs from time to time from their most recent effort, I don’t like it, but fuck; I’m so glad they got rid of fucking mumble mouth John Bush and got Joey Belladonna back.

No Reason XXX Part II- The End

Though we had the CD on our final tour it wasn't until No Reason broke up that the vinyl version of our LP came out. I still think the songs are good, but boy oh boy do I hate the recording. The 7" and second demo are much, much better. Good thing FIVE of those nine songs made it to the LP. "Paper Hero" from the LP is one of my favorite songs I have ever written, it's too bad the recording turned out how it did. Paper Hero was named after a great episode of Robotech that my brother and I loved growing up. The subject matter (first verse) was about a friend of ours who had recently stopped hanging out/ being straight edge, the second verse was about a girl I really liked who, of course, thought I was a dork. Eventually, I stopped writing songs about girls in my late 30's. I'm trying to track down the tape we did BEFORE going to Trackmasters that we tracked live at Watchmen studios as pre production. I think Eric still has that DAT, if he does, I'm going to transfer it and check it out to see if it is as good as I remember.

We were originally slated to record in the small room at the original Salad days studio in Boston with Brian McTernan. When I called to get directions the week before we were leaving, Brian informed me the studio had flooded and that the recording couldn't happen on the dates we had booked. This led to my utter panic. We had a summer tour booked and needed our LP done so the cd would be out in time! Our drummer Blake very much shared that sentiment. Glenn, our fifth member at the time, suggested we go to Trackmaster, a local studio where the Goo Goo Dolls had recorded a Boy Named Goo. That record had gone platinum so I figured that meant we would get a platinum level recording, right? WRONG. Glenn really struggled matching some of the rhythm guitar I played and with some of his leads. I just think, though he had fun and live brought great energy, the style we played wasn't something he could play. Also, I don't really recall Glenn being in a band with two guitarists aside from evergreen and that was at least 5 years prior. I remember that there is a lead in one song he worked on for HOURS trying to nail. Literally hours, I walked in the booth and made a suggestion about taking a break or something along those lines and he said "one more fucking word and I'm walking out of here." He quit the band two weeks later.

It's a real shame how the LP turned out as a whole, because Blake and Eric played so well on it. The energy level is just perfect but the production values paired with my brother's sick/ asthma attack attempt at singing brought it down. Also, Mark, the engineer, didn't help. "Oh, so you guys are a hardcore band? Like SNFU, right?" Yeah, Mark, EXACTLY like that.

No Reason xxx.

No Reason xxx was a band that formed right on the heels on Halfmast's breakup in 1996. The idea was to still be a fast "youth crew" style straight edge band like Halfmast, but with a more updated and sometimes more "punk" sound. No Reason xxx was a fun band to be in and to write songs for. The Original Line up was My brother and I, the Ellman brothers and our cousin Abe. Abe played on the demo then moved before our first show, leaving us a four piece with Eric Ellman moving from guitar to bass. 

At our first show, Immigrant Sun records was talking to Chris Colohan, who was in Left For Dead at the time and asked us to do a split with them. We, of course, said yes; but shortly after, Left For Dead kind of fell apart. This was good because it gave us the opportunity to do a 7" with Immigrant Sun records, which people to this day still tell me they love. Ebullition Records refused to carry the record in their distro citing that it promoted violence against women. We used the Gator stuff because it was supposed to represent a loss of innocence for us and the world of skateboarding and because there was "No Reason" for him to do what he did. But I guess we never explained that to good old Kent McClard, but it made for a cool looking record sleeve.

Our local shows were ALWAYS incredible with kids singing along and having a good time. We played a lot of shows in the 1 1/2- 2 years we were together. On top of great local shows, we had some good shows on weekends we spent out of town in Chicago and Toronto. We broke up after playing a few shows at home after recording an LP we weren't happy with and losing our asses on a terrible tour that was plagued with cancellations. However, A good show we played in Toronto is shown here, though I think the date is a year off. We cover "Ready To Fight" by Negative Approach at the end, which I had zero recollection of until seeing this vid.

This story isn't about At The Gates.

Last August, I ventured up to Toronto by myself to go see one of my favorite 90's Swedish death metal bands, At The Gates. The plan was to rage at the ATG show, then after a brief 5 hour nap, drive to This Is hardcore Fest in Philly to catch 7 Seconds, Judge, Killing Time, Negative Approach, Slapshot and a myriad of other classic and contemporary hardcore bands. It didn't go as planned.

After the ATG show (they were really, I mean REALLY good), I went to a Pakistani/ Indian take out place to eat, which was convenient as it was a block from the Phoenix Theatre, where the show was held AND on the way to where my car was parked. While I was ordering, the guy behind the counter was so unbelievably rude, I walked out mid order. Undeterred, I did what my friends and I always did after we went to shows in Canada growing up; I went to get a falafel, which was cold and terrible. I cannot remember the name of the place, though it was across the street from a park and the neighborhood seemed pretty shitty, but it was on my way towards the expressway and again, convenient. I was looking at the photos I had taken at the show on my iPhone, as I had the cellular data turned off so I could not look at instagram or whatever. After a little while, I threw out my 1/2 eaten dinner and started to drive home. At some point after I left, I realized I did NOT have my phone. I turned around, retrace my steps and anxiety and hilarity ensues as it does not turn up, nor does anyone at the kabob shop give a fuck about my plight. Also, the woman who was trying to bum a cigarette inside the kabob shop while I was eating, who was still hanging around outside when I returned, denied any knowledge and denied stealing my phone off the table. It sucked and killed the rest of my plans for Philly the next day, as an AT&T employee who was working his last day did not activate my 5 year old back up phone properly and required THREE trips back to AT&T to get it up and running.

I had much better pics than this, as I was right upfront for the majority of the gig, I lifted this from an online review.

For the next 2 weeks I was going crazy using an old flip phone and then and really early Android Motorola phone that were the only old phones that were laying around.I Know I sound like a privileged brat and it's probably pretty unbecoming of someone in his 40's but it SUCKED. I've only had iPhones since 2009 and going back to a flip phone felt like I had gone back to sending smoke signals or something. My Mother was up for an upgrade and she was gracious enough to give me her 4s, as I could not afford to drop $400 on a new phone at the time. While I was waiting to meet her at the AT&T store after work about a week later, I heard a familiar song BLASTING from a Mini Cooper stopped at the red light at the intersection in front of the AT&T plaza. I mean this dude was listening to the song LOUD, like piss off your roommates/ parents kind of loud. The song was We All Fall Down by Egghunt, the last song you'd ever expect bumping from anyone's car. Suddenly, all my problems melted away at the absurdity of what I had just witnessed; a great song at a time and place where I would have never expected it. It's funny how music can turn around a mood.