Goddammit, a brief lesson in digital formats

Has there ever been a greater collection of songs?

 4 years ago, I wrote about my love for 1974's Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits , and although I have all of the original band's albums on my iPhone (seriously, how good is Killer?), I no longer have that specific collection after a hard drive crash that resulted in a loss of about 20% of the music I had digitally. The last time I listened to Greatest Hits was on the plane when I moved to California, almost 2 years ago.

the offending CD

The other night, I was at my local Walmart to pick up some big box store junk and happened through their media section. Right out front of the $5 bin was a ridiculously bright Alice Cooper CD. when I flipped over Mascara and Monsters: The Best of Alice Copper, I was happy to learn that not only did it have all of the tracks from my beloved Hits lp, but also the stronger tracks from after the singer, Alice, went solo from the original group (though the song "Teenage Frankenstein," a personal favorite, is sadly missing). I took the $5 plunge and was pretty excited to play it on my commute to work the following morning; and yes, I am aware I could have just made a play list to follow the track list, but I HATE playlists, especially is albums are mastered at different volumes. I don't really buy CDs anymore and purchase most of my music on iTunes or Bandcamp, so you can imagine my excitement.

The next morning, as I prepared for my once a week, 35 minute commute to a branch campus, I opened up the CD, which promptly cracked in my hand. So I just bought it on iTunes.

Thanks for nothing.

I saw Alice Cooper open for Iron Maiden 5 years ago and all I got was this lousy picture

Thanks, MEGADETH

In 1990 I was REALLY into thrash metal; almost to a fault. I think I liked every band that was playing in the genre. Hell, even if I didn’t like a band, I probably at least liked their new, popular song (IE: “Practice What You Preach” by Testament) and the more Surf Line Original Jams involved, the better. I was a dork; I couldn’t pull off all black, a bullet belt and leather biker jacket, but I COULD wear the shit out of a Hawaiian shirt, some clam diggers and my jean jacket with an Anthrax “I Am The Law” back patch on it. Eventually, I moved on to Army/ Navy surplus and a Slaytanic Wehrmacht shirt (I have photo graphic evidence of this somewhere) but, like I said, I was a dork.

That same year, a little movie and soundtrack called ‘Shocker” came out. Shocker was a low budget horror film; made in the hopes of sparking a new Wes Craven trilogy. The soundtrack contained a heavy metal version of the song “No More Mister Nice Guy” by “Big Four” thrashers Megadeth. Now, I never liked Megadeth much. I bought a few of their releases on cassette and wasn’t impressed. BUT as I stated in the prior paragraph, I tended to like the newer popular song. I loved ‘No More Mister Nice Guy” and promptly purchased the Cassingle to jam in my Walkman on the bus ride to high school.

I’m not exactly sure at what point I became aware that NMMNG (as we shall refer to it from here on out) was actually an ALICE COOPER song; but I’m certain it was AFTER I fell in love with Dave Mustaine’s hilariously whiny version.  Looking back, I want to slap myself. The Alice Cooper original is a great look into early 70’s pop smart shock rock, whereas the Megadeth cover (especially the video) feels like extreme self-parody. I can only imagine the phone call from the execs that asked Dave to cover the tunes, where Dave replies “yeah, I’m not a nice guy; I’m a sneering manchild, I’ll DO IT!” I am an adult now and I have seen the errors of my previous ways.

NMMNG is probably the most popular song on 1973’s “Billion Dollar Babies” and is most definitely one of Alice Copper’s signature tracks. Though I am not a “greatest hits” kind of guy, when I want to rock some, uh, Cooper, I throw on 1974’s GREATEST HITS and rock the fucking Cooper out. To everything I believe in music wise, this is probably a huge affront; but when I can attribute the beginnings of my love for Alice Cooper to a really lame cover, I think it is absolutely fitting. I saw Megadeth for the first and last time in 1991 (Clash of the Titans, baby!) and Alice Cooper (solo) most recently last year and I have to say, Cooper has held up really well, whereas Megadeth has not. So, hey, either way: thanks Megadeth. Thanks for leading me to a great song and band that can get me out of the grown up funk I often find myself in.