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| Not me, but really a festival "everyman" |
As a whole, I am not fond of music
festivals. Particularly big (or small) open air stages filled with overpriced
food and beverages and sound akin to a loud tin can falling into a puddle. That’s
not to say I haven’t had positive experiences attending one, it’s just that, as
a whole, at some point you realize you’re standing in a field, or a parking lot;
baking in the hot sun, or having rain pissed on you. I often think, “Have
conditions ever been 100% exactly perfect for a festival in North America?”
After going to Punk Rock Bowling in 2016 to see Dag Nasty, I SWORE I’d never go
to another outdoor gig. Yet since, I’ve still found myself at them, either
wishing I had a jacket, or a bag to put stuff in, or maybe something I would
actually want to eat while I’m fucking locked inside the fences; is that too
much to ask?
The
first outdoor “music festival” I attended was Lollapaloza in Barrie, Ontario in
July of 1993. I went with a group of friends who I had graduated with a year
earlier. It was really the last “big thing” we did before two of them decided
to head off to the army. It was a hot day, you weren’t allowed to bring
anything in and food and water was pretty expensive. Then again, alternative
rock was pretty big business by the point, with bands and labels making money
hand over fist. I went wearing an Inside Out long sleeve shirt and HUGE ‘X’s” on my hand, with the
intention of getting on top of the crowd during Rage Against the Machine and
giving the middle finger to Zack de la Rocha for “selling out” straight edge. I
made my way to the front, near the barrier and waited… The opening bass line to
“Bombtrack” started and when the drums kicked in with “UHH!” I was lifted from
my feet by the surging crowd and toppled over. I have been in fights at shows, foolishly
dived off stages, but in that instance, I truly feared for my safety; I had no
control as to where I could move to as more and more people fell on top of me.
After what seemed like an eternity, I pulled myself up and fought my way out of
the densely packed crowd. I walked far up on the lawn and watched RATM level
the place. I saw a lot of bands that day, even fell asleep on said lawn during
Dinosaur Jr. but that Rage set was something so great that (last minute) I went to see the same
show 2 weeks later in PA. I honestly don’t remember RATM’s set from the second show, just
falling asleep on the lawn (again) to Dino Jr. I also bought a copy of the Bhagavad
Gita and a Youth of Today “Youth Crew 88” shirt (right off the back) from a
Hare Krishna guy in the parking lot.
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| Lifted from a google search |
A
couple of weekends ago, I’m hoping that I went to what will be my last outdoor
festival, not that it was terrible, I just don’t like experiencing music this
way. Anyway, I took a chance on
something called “Burger Boogaloo” in Oakland. Mostly, the lineup consisted of bands
that seem far too “hip,” or something, than my “I grew up in the suburbs in the
80’s” taste. It seemed like it was mostly stuff for people who live in
gentrified areas of a city and stay out late drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon on a
weeknight. I arrived in the early
afternoon, waited an hour in line and pleasantly ran into my friend Mike, whom
Dead Hearts (my old band; Mike happens to be an uncle of another member, but is
my age) had stayed with a bunch on tour. Mike drove a long way (Olympia, WA) to
get to the show. We caught up and tried to watch Mudhoney but they were as
boring as I’d remembered. I was never
much of a “college rock” or “grunge" guy, so no surprise there. Some other bands
played, but I barely watched any, until The Mummies came out and wrecked the
place. Now, seeing a band in broad day light in not optimal and I think most
people can agree that seeing a band in a dark, packed club is always the ideal.
I saw Dimmu Borgir once in the middle of the day at an outdoor gig in 90 degree
heat and high humidity: it did NOT work on any level. I actually felt bad for
those guys having to do their evil black metal shtick while slowly melting on
stage. Anyway, the Mummies came out and
after one of the greatest introductions I have ever seen, ROCKED. Their gimmick
works at 6:45pm as well at it would at 11, so I was pretty into it.
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| The Mummies, photo by the author |
I had
made my way upfront long before The Mummies in order to secure a spot for the
reason I came: DEVO. A band I had discovered/ liked in 1981, fell in love with
in 87 and never looked back. I wasn’t a completest, but I had the Freedom
of Choice and Are We Not Men? LPs and Greatest
Hits on cassette, which I listened to on my Walkman riding the bus to and from
high school in between blasts of thrash metal and hardcore. At the time, I didn’t
have a copy of Duty Now For The Future, so on the extra blank space on side two
of said cassette, I dubbed “The Day My Baby Gave Me a Surprise,” my favorite song, off of the We’re
All Devo Vhs tape I had. I wasn’t cool, and even though they acted like
they weren’t, Devo certainly was.
John Waters came out and did a
stumbly, odd-paced introduction and then we were off to the races. Devo sounded
EXCELLENT and exceeded all of my expectations: Girl U Want/ Whip It/ (I Can't
Get No) Satisfaction/ Secret Agent Man/ Uncontrollable Urge/ Mongoloid/ Jocko
Homo/ Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA/ Gates of Steel/ DEVO Corporate Anthem/ Gut Feeling
(Slap Your Mammy)/ Beautiful World/ The Girl Can't Help It/ Come Back Jonee. It
was really incredible, with the only song TRULY missing from the set was Freedom
of Choice and seemed to be the only complaints fans had while I was leaving. It
only took me like 37 years from when I first heard “Through Being Cool” to
finally see them, I had been kicking myself for the many times I missed them
over the years, but now that box is checked and I’m REALLY hoping that this is
the last time I have to go to another outdoor festival gig, unless of course, I
can sleep on the lawn during Dinosaur Jr.
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photo by the author
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| Photo by the author |
