The day the music (Anthrax) died

Cool guys, right?

From 1987-1990, the years from 8^th grade until my junior year of high school, I certainly did not look “Cool.” Thankfully, there was a band that looked as ridiculous as I did. That band was Anthrax. I didn’t have the personality or good looks to pull off the traditional metal look, but with their goofy attitude and Surfline Original Jams, Anthrax really made me feel like I was one of them. Hell, in 9^th grade, I even wrote them an honest to goodness fan letter (that went unanswered, of course). They liked TMNT and Judge Dredd and as an added bonus, as a fledgling guitar player, Anthrax’s simple-yet-effective riffs were relatively easy to figure out, whereas I couldn’t even touch a Metallica or Slayer song; my fondness for them grew with each chug-chugalug of the open E string. 

The author, Christmas 1989 wearing a Sacred Reich shirt

I saw them in their peak of popularity in 1991 and though my tastes were heading towards more extreme music at that time, I still thought very highly of the band and of the thrash metal scene I had invested my interest in for the 4 years prior. Then something happened, something strange and unthinkable; Heavy Metal died. I think I recognized that bands were releasing subpar follow up records in the post Metallica Black Album world, but I was not prepared for the alternative rock boom. I was equally not prepared for Anthrax firing vocalist Joey Belladonna and replacing him with the guy from Armored Saint, whose voice I think straight up sucks (to this day). The Sound of White Noise sounded like they were trying to play the alternative rock game and I hate every fucking minute of it. Post 1993, I ignored Anthrax’s new material mostly, but still jammed Among the Living and State of Euphoria regularly.

Then it happened, the very moment Anthrax turned a corner for me that I couldn’t ignore; I went to see them with the newly reformed “Misfits” in Rochester, NY in May of ’96. They mostly stuck to Bush era songs- stuff I didn’t know or like. Then they threw out a bone to the old school fan, the intro to Among the Living kicked in and my friend John and I started moshing like crazy- “Duh-nuh-nuh-na-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug.” I was so pumped. This is what I wanted- this riff, this moment. 16 year old me had taken control of my 21 year old body, I was metal thrashing mad. Then an open chord was struck and held for a long period of time. There would be no group chant of “Disease! Disease! Spreading the disease!” instead, guitarist Scott Ian yelled into his back up mic, “last chance to mosh- BRING THAAAAAA NOISE!” and fucking mumble mouth Armored Saint guy and Ian slaughtered Public Enemy’s crossover hit. Nail meet coffin. DONE.

I was further insulted a few years later when I was sent a bunch of promo cassettes from the quickly disbanded “Ignition Records” containing the Anthrax single Piss N Vinegar which is fucking Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull, yes really, they stole the riff and vocal melody from a Tull song, fucking heathens.  Anthrax was so set adrift at that point that they had no fucking idea.

I’m mostly a grown up now, I mean, I’m a dad in my 40’; so I have satellite radio. I hear new Anthrax songs from time to time from their most recent effort, I don’t like it, but fuck; I’m so glad they got rid of fucking mumble mouth John Bush and got Joey Belladonna back.